Also known as: songs I avoid listening to in public at all costs. If there’s one thing to know about me, it’s that I love sad songs — the kind that make you feel, no matter how painful. Sometimes music speaks when words fail, and these songs have done that for me. Half of the songs on this list I can now listen to without crying, thanks to repeated exposure therapy (aka crying through long drives). The other half, I still avoid, because they’ll wreck my mood for a day or two.
track #1: lihat kebunku (taman bunga) by aku jeje
This one was on heavy rotation back in September, the month everything ended. At first, I misheard the lyric as “sungguh kelabu kini tanganku tanpamu” instead of “tamanmu,” and I took it as the narrator's death from mourning the loss of someone dear. I sobbed through that line every time until I realised my mistake, which changed the meaning entirely. I still like the song, though I rarely seek it out now.
track #2: bila by raisa
This one’s new, but it hits deep—it perfectly describes the bargaining stage of grief. The song hurts from the very first line, but the lyric “aku masih berandai-andai tentang bagaimana bila suatu hari nanti kan berjumpa lagi tanpa pernah saling mencari” is the dagger. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that what-ifs are agony.
What if there was another chance?
What if they came back?
What if you met again—older, softer, better?
What if they never miss you at all?
Bargaining hurts most when you know you’re the only one still wishing.
track #3: let alone the one you love by olivia dean
Olivia Dean was so right when she wrote this. It was the second viral track from her latest album, and rightfully so. That line—“who would do that to a friend, let alone the one you love?” lingers like a truth bomb. It makes you rethink how easily words and actions can contradict each other, and how sometimes you’re left wondering if the person who once claimed to love you would even treat a friend that way.
track #4: pilu membiru by kunto aji
"Masih banyak yang belum sempat aku sampaikan padamu, masih banyak yang belum sempat aku katakan padamu, masih banyak yang belum sempat aku sampaikan padamu." A song for all the unsaid things, unfinished plans, and places that will never be visited together. I never intentionally play this song, but it always finds me on shuffle—and I never make it through without crying.
track #5: kultusan by sal priadi
Honestly, just listen to the whole song and you’ll get it. But that one line—“kau berbohong, yang mulia, kau pendusta”—feels personal, calling out betrayal adds a poetic sting, as if addressing someone once held in high regard but no longer worthy of the title.
track #6: the black dog by taylor swift
Is it even a sad playlist without a Taylor Swift song? I avoided listening to Taylor when I was dating so I wouldn’t associate her songs with him—and avoided her after the breakup for the exact same reason. This one slipped through by accident and shattered me. Especially during that first month, when the daily texts, photos, and calls just stopped. And you’re left wondering: how is this bearable for him now, when just yesterday he couldn’t go a day without me? It’s that haunting voice whispering, “how could he not miss me?”
track #7: terbuang dalam waktu by barasuara
A song that’s meant to be triumphant, yet it holds a strange melancholy. As the soundtrack to Sore: Istri dari Masa Depan (which I wrote about before), it recalls that line where Sore tells Jo not to let her be swallowed by time. It speaks to anyone who’s ever waited too long for closure—when the waiting itself starts to feel like being slowly erased.
track #8: mencintaimu (cover) by sal priadi
I used to cry to Mahalini's version of this song a few months before our breakup, mourning a life I knew we would never have together. I was mourning the child we would never have together, the home I would never live in, the breakfast I would never make for him, the future I would never see. Sal's version, however, is deeper, intimate and hurts all the right parts in my heart, making me realise that I will always love this guy no matter what, and how that sucks for me.
track #9: loud by olivia dean
Olivia, again! Honestly, this one hurt more than Let Alone the One You Love. That one made me angry; this one made me sad. The lyric “No, I won’t phone, ’cause we went straight to lovers, so we can’t even talk as friends” hits like a punch. It ties back perfectly to the other song—how maybe I am now treated worse than a friend because we were never friends first. And yeah, that stings.
track #10: actor by conan gray
Conan’s new album is a ride. That line—“you’re saving your face, but you take it out on your nose, the white wind blows, and now I’m lives ago”—hurts in a way only hidden relationships can. It’s about when someone downplays what you had just to protect their image—and moves on like it never mattered.
track #11: percuma by anggis devaki and betrand peto putra onsu
Would it even be a sad playlist without a heartbreaking ballad written by Mahalini? I’ve been crying to this song since it dropped, but post-breakup, it hits ten times harder. The "kuizinkan sakitiku semaunya" never fails to break my heart; the reason is self-explanatory.
track #12: tsunami by niki
The song that was there since the beginning, if I may say so. This was the soundtrack of me falling headfirst towards him, of the days of me running towards him with no hesitation, despite how I didn't feel secure, my heart winning over my head. This song reminds me so much of the beginning, so I don't listen to it anymore.
Honourable mentions (because I talked about them in previous posts):
And with the end of this post, happy official 3-month post-breakup to me!
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