berapa kali kita akan saling memaafkan?

Berapa Kali Kita Akan Saling Memaafkan by Pamungkas was released on April 8th, and I have listened to it every day ever since. If you have been here for a while, you would know how much I enjoy thinking and analysing, and this song gives me so much to sit with. Despite being only 4:44 long and having simple lyrics, there are many layers to unpack, and I feel like even after many listens, I will still find new meanings in it.

On first listen, it is easy to dismiss it as just another love song about a romantic relationship. I even thought it was about a toxic relationship at first, because my mind immediately went to someone I associate with that idea. But the more I listened, the more I realised that the song is not limited to romantic love.

There is platonic love, familial love, and even the relationship we have with ourselves. At its core, this song speaks about something that exists in every form of lasting love, which is forgiveness. It asks a quiet but heavy question. How many times can we keep forgiving, and how long can love be sustained through that process?

Kau panggil lagi nama depanku

Bukannya Cinta, bukannya Sayang

Pertanda pasti amarah murka (Amarah murka)

Dan panasnya hati, emosi buta

Kupanggil lagi nama kecilmu
Pengingat bahwa (It's not the end, we'll try again) kau yang tercinta (Let's try again, let's try again, let's try again)
Kau yang tercinta, kau yang tercinta
Kau yang tercinta, kau yang tercinta

One detail I keep coming back to is the contrast between the first verse and the fifth verse. In the first verse, the narrator was called by their first name, foreshadowing distance and anger, almost as if the emotional connection is being withdrawn. In the fifth verse, the use of a childhood nickname brings that closeness back. Something as small as the way we call each other becomes a reflection of how we feel. It shows how love can momentarily disappear in anger, but also how easily it can return through something gentle and familiar. The repeated use of the word “lagi” in both verses also suggests that this cycle is not new. It is something that keeps happening, which quietly reinforces the idea of repeated forgiveness.

There is no relationship that is free from conflict. This applies to our relationships with partners, friends, family, ourselves, and even with God. As humans, we are bound to make mistakes for as long as we live. Because of that, we cannot promise that we will never hurt the people we love, just as we cannot expect to never be hurt by them.

It’s not the end, we’ll try again, we’ll try again

It’s not the end, we’ll try again

Let’s try again, let’s try again, let’s try again

This repetition feels almost like a promise, but also a plea. It carries a sense of persistence, but at the same time, there is a quiet exhaustion in having to start over again and again. Forgiveness here is not painted as something easy or effortless. It is something we choose, repeatedly, even when it is difficult.

I see this most clearly in family. My brothers and I used to fight almost every day when we were younger, and even now, we still argue from time to time, whether over small things or bigger issues. I used to argue with my mom a lot as a teenager, convinced that she did not understand me and never would. But somehow, we always found our way back to each other. No matter how far the distance felt in those moments, it never lasted. We kept returning, we kept forgiving, and that is something I now realise is not accidental. It is a choice that we keep making.

It also makes me think about the relationship between humans and God. In Islam, Allah is known as Al Ghafur, the Most Forgiving. The Quran repeatedly reminds us that His mercy is vast, that it surpasses His wrath, and that no matter how great our mistakes are, sincere repentance is always met with forgiveness. When I think about that, it puts human forgiveness into perspective. If divine forgiveness is that constant and that generous, then perhaps the act of forgiving each other is also a reflection of something greater.

At the same time, the song does not ignore the limits of understanding:

Ingatkan diri ada yang takkan pernah ku mengerti

Karena tak pernah aku lalui yang kau lalui

There are parts of other people’s experiences that we will never fully understand, simply because we have not lived through them ourselves. And maybe that is exactly why forgiveness is needed. Not because everything can be explained or justified, but because not everything can be understood.

So I do not think the song is simply saying that love should always overcome anger and ego without question. Instead, it highlights how difficult that choice actually is. Forgiveness is not just an outcome of love; it is an ongoing effort that keeps love alive. And perhaps the real question the song leaves us with is not just how many times we can forgive, but whether we are willing to keep choosing it, even when it becomes tiring.